does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
