Your tits are I can't wait for
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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