if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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