we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
