Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
