What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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