My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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