that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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