Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
