It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
