I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
