He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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