She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
