I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
