im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
