I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
