don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
