I wanna bring you to show and tell
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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