i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
