If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
