she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
