Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
