This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
