Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
