From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
