I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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