mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
