nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
