I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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