Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
