Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
