So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
and she was petting her beer can
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
