That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
