dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize