your room smells of hookers.
And success
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
