I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
