i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
