too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
