My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
