I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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