He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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