She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
