We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
