i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
