I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
