he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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