the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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