He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
