Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
