stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
