I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
