there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
