i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
