btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
