He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
