it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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