the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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