my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
