this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
