You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
